Okay, some of you may be new to this Recap Party so let me explain how this works. This is called a RECAP…which means I will be discussing what happened in the premiere episode….which means there will be spoilers…which means, if you haven’t seen it…STOP READING….Okay, since you kept reading, that means you’re cool with it….so let’s get it popping!
Empire opened up with Star Power… We already know everybody, they mama nem, and their next door neighbor’s cousin wants to be on this show. And tonight, we got glimpses of Rev. Al, Andre Leon Tally, Don Lemon, Miss Lawrence (who knew she could blow like that), Deray Davis…and Pookie, I mean Chris Rock. Yeah, I know actors like to stretch….but I like funny Chris Rock. It was just hard for me to take him serious as a cannibal (did you catch that?) ruthless kingpin. But alas, he wanted to rule the streets and Lucious wanted to rule the world. And oh yeah, he gave Cookie a head-in-a-box and well, if you mess with Cookie, you mess with Lucious, so it was a wrap for Chris’ role.
Big ups to the wardrobe dept for Becky…now can y’all just get the hair department on board #BurgundyBlackBrownJustNotBlonde
Jamal’s new hit needs to be “I’m feeling myself.” He’s another one I can’t take serious. You can’t be all hard, pinching your boyfriend’s nipples, taking down a take-over, getting all up in your mama’s face, then crying online slots when she slapped you. On the real, Cookie needed to break out that broom on him too….
Cookie and the team tried to court lesbian billionaire Mimi to give them the money to take over Empire. Mimi wanted Anika A la Carte and Cookie told BooBoo Kitty to take one for the team (she did, but obviously her cookies weren’t all that)….
They dug Ricky’s mama up out of the Boys in the Hood archive to play the prosecutor. Since when does the DA see clients with her tatas hanging out??
Lucious…gotta love him. He plays dirty. He plays to win…..and while he can screw over his family, no one else can. Can’t wait to see what he has up his prison sleeve this season.
Time for the Favorite lines….What were yours? Here are mine…
“You cant even dyke right…”
“Why you crying like Tammy Faye Baker?”
“Why you look like Mr. T?”
“Will He, won’t He will!”
Empire was doing the most tonight….Now you tell me is that a good thing or a bad…
That’s it, for now. I’m gonna have to rewind some parts. I watched with a non-Empire watcher and Victoria Christopher Murray asked 1,438,980,232 questions…messing up my Empire flow! See you next week!
PS-Did you catch that Donnie shade, tho???
PPS – What stars do you want to see on the show? Or are you starred out?
PPPS- Make sure y’all watch Blackish and give them some love, too….and then, go read a book!