#Empire Recap: This episode opened with Jamal jammin as the FBI raided Empire. Thirsty, the lawyer, rolled into Lucious’ bedroom as he lay with some random chick, thanked Lucious for his night with the twins…and told Lucious, the feds were on the way. Of course, Lucious wanted to give the feds a proper greeting, so he donned his birthday suit and told them to search away.
The feds also searched Cookie’s new studio, so the Lyon’s clan had to come together to send a message to the authorities. Hakeem asked Lucious point blank if he killed Bunky. With a straight face, Lucious gave him that Bill Clinton answer. “I did not have murderous relations with your mother’s cousin.”
Cookie showed up in her Cross Colours St. John suit and asked Lucious for a truce. They agreed to have Hakeem and Jamal film a video together.
Dre, still harboring daddy issues, said if he could make the Fed investigation go away, could he get back in Empire. Of course, Lucious said yes. (If I was Dre, I would’ve needed that in writing)….so Dre went home and told Rhonda he needed to dig up Vernon’s boy. He said God had been talking to him.(I”m not one to question anyone when they say they talk to God….but umm, I don’t know if God says, “Go forth and move the dead body”), but I digress….Rhonda, was like, ‘Come on, baby, I”m your ride or die.” Until they went digging where they buried him (by the tree with a hole in it)…..and they discovered ALL the trees had holes. Yep, they lost the body. At that point, Rhonda was rethinking that ride or die thing….A car drove up and the couple just knew they were busted. Turns out it was Lucious and his trusty attorney! They’d put a tracking device on Dre’s car and followed him. Rhonda explained what they were doing and Thirsty was like, ‘Bam, I just so happen to have a dead body detector”. (I hope that I never need a lawyer, but if I do….I hope he can be like this Easter-Sunday suit wearing, Player-Player, Jack of All Trades reformed crackhead from the Wire….)
Wearing the latest outfit from the Eddie Murphy Delirious collection, Cookie was arrested after Portia jumped the subway turnstile and used her name. As the cops tossed Cookie in the car, she yelled “If I die in police custody, I did not commit suicide!” Big ups to the writers for that #SandraBland line. In jail, Cookie started having flashbacks and knew she needed to tell the feds what they wanted. Or so it seemed. Cookie ain’t no snitch….and she ain’t no fool. She made up a story about how best online casino Lucious might’ve killed Bunky over a radio deal….which of course, caused the feds to shut down the deal and keep Lucious from buying up the radio stations and keeping Cookie’s music off the air.
Brotherly animosity took its toll and a fake fight while filming the video turned real and Hakeem bolted. He went to a Tom Jones bar to drown his sorrows and found his next girl star to take the place of Valentina, who Lucious stole from him last week.
Ricky and Doughboy’s mama came strutting out of her house (her boobs must be new because she isn’t trying to cover them up!). She was excited because she thought she had something on Lucious and she was confident she’d find Vernon. She found him all right…..his mummified body was sitting in her front seat!
Yessss! Looks like it’s back on the upswing. Did you see the preview for next week???? Empire partying like Sodom and Gomorrah….And Dre bout to find Jesus…Can you imagine the turmoil that will bring to Lucifer, I mean Lucious? I’ll definitely be tuned in next week. (Bring on Adam Rodriguez!!) What about you? Are you back? Or did they lose you for good?
See you next week.
PS – What is Jamal’s boo, Dora’s job? Background lurker????
PPS- Won’t you sign the petition…#FireBeckysStylist….?
PPPS – Ive never been inspired to buy music from a TV show, but yeah, I’m bout to head over to iTunes…